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Creating a Loving Relationship with Self

A world where everyone has self-love is a world without hate. It’s a world without retaliation and wars, where everyone understands more than misunderstands. It’s a place of compassion and forgiveness, a world with inner peace.

People often confuse self-love, selflessness and selfishness. It’s important to distinguish how they differ.

  • Selflessness means being primarily concerned with the wellbeing of others.
  • Selfishness focuses primarily on self and excludes others.
  • Self-love has a concentrated focus and investment primarily on a loving relationship with self.

A self-loving relationship has an awareness and connection to inner thoughts and feelings that includes acceptance, compassion, authenticity, gratitude, and peace.

Five Ways to Create a Loving Relationship with Self

  1. Spend quality time alone. Do something fun, relaxing and peaceful.
  2. Sit in silence. Don’t be distracted by loud music, which can suppress feelings and thoughts. Allow silence to play a role in enjoying quality time spent alone.
  3. Listen and be aware of all thoughts and feelings. Simply by being aware, a greater understanding of the mind and body becomes possible, making it easier to take better care of yourself.
  4. Encourage positive self-talk and be gentle with yourself. People can easily give support to others, the same is true for ourselves. If we can give good advice to others, we can also give good advice to ourselves. If we have compassion for the pain we’ve felt and wrong we’ve done, we can also have compassion for others.
  5. Have gratitude for all the things experienced in life. Bring awareness to all experiences and appreciate having lived another day. This will bring comfort to any soul that has endured pain.

These practices help to gain an understanding of who we are, and why we do or say things. They also help to shed light on what we enjoy doing with our time. By understanding these things, we can gain acceptance and compassion for who we are, leading to a sense of gratitude and peace.

When someone is angry at others, the person holding the anger is the one that suffers. However, having acceptance and compassion for ourselves opens the door to having forgiveness and compassion for others.

When we integrate self-love as a daily practice, we can use our practice towards others. As many people say that they can be their own worst enemy, let's encourage each other to be our own best friend. Through the understanding of having a loving relationship with self, it is possible to have a loving relationship with others.

Brandi Kiana-Jo is a holistic life coach and experiential event coordinator. She works one-on-one in private sessions, customized to individual goals on topics such as diet and nutrition, relationships, communication, career and spirituality. For more information, call 808-393-5527 or visit BrandiKianaJo.com



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