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Natural Awakenings Hawaii

Mastering Our Brain, Our Thoughts and Our Behavior

Jan 31, 2017 07:10AM ● By DR. MELBA C. STETZ, Ph.D., BCN, BCB

As a Research Psychology officer serving all over the world, I noticed that we would spend more time using our IQ (intelligence quotient) than our EQ (emotional quotient). That is, we had to get the work done, even if not everyone would end up happy in the end.

On top of that, we kept moving, making it hard to create meaningful relationships. Thankfully, being a mom, daughter, sister, wife and friend has helped me to keep improving my EQ. I learned that it is much better to be “kind” than to be “right”.

Therefore, I have been able to help others benefit from my training and experiences to better manage our brains, our thoughts and our behaviors. My sessions involve establishing and working toward goals that may have been blocked by old and inefficient patterns of thoughts. Through effective goal setting and results-oriented steps, my clients are able to achieve more balanced and fulfilling lives. For example, when using my Neuro- and Biofeedback equipment, they can practice relaxation. Specifically, they can practice relaxation-producing exercises, such as diaphragmatic breathing, that yields alpha brain waves (8 to 12 hertz (cycles per second)). They can also create more focus or peak performance waves in their frontal lobe for better decision making. These exercises help people reach a balanced sense of well-being.

My belief is that we can do whatever we want, but in order to do that, we must take control of our thoughts and behaviors. The following list of pointers is a combination of thoughts shared with me when I was looking for enlightenment:

  • Start the Day Positive: Put a positive filter on what is happening. Too often people discount the positive things in their life. Avoid blaming and catastrophizing. After all, if the day starts with negative thinking, how do you think the rest of the day will go?
  • Avoid Labeling and Overgeneralizing: Putting things in a box may seem helpful; however, this can limit the potential outcome. Let’s think outside the box.
  • Stop Mind Reading and Fortune-telling: Though using intuition is valuable, it is also important to let other people express themselves in their own words. This one change can enhance the health of your relationships.

Well-known psychologist Dr. Philip Zimbardo (who I’ve had the honor to meet in person) suggests that we can live in the past (e.g., PTSD sufferers, some elderly), present (e.g., teenagers) or future (e.g., workaholics), or we can create a more balanced album of memories. I would like to help you to achieve the life that makes your best memories. You can contact me at any time. Mahalo.

For more information, visit To schedule one-on-one or group training, call 808-347-4626 or email [email protected]

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